– Understandings from Swami Swaroopanandaji’s talk for Youth Empowerment Programme – 6th batch
Souraj dhiraj tehi rath chaaka,
Satyaseel dhruda dhwaja pataka
Bal bibek dam parahit khore
Chama krupa samata raju jore
Forgiveness is the first rope of the chariot
In Avadhi, kshama is said as chama.
In the rope, lies the control. Without a strong rope, the powerful horses cannot be controlled.
A child may not be able to forgive his parents for any bad behavior towards him, but no matter how bad a child behaves, the parents forgive the child. Why is this so? The child has come through the parents due to which the parents feel he’s a part of them. They know that the child is acting out of ignorance. And ignorance needs help, not punishment; for, ignorance is not a crime. They know that if they will not help their child, who will? Parents, due to their maturity, love & affection towards the child can easily forgive and forget the whole issue. A child cannot do so because he still has to grow intellectually and emotionally to understand the whole thing.
If we bite our own tongue accidentally, will we punish our teeth? We know that any punishment towards our teeth is a punishment towards ourselves. When we forget how we all are connected, we find it difficult to forgive. It also becomes a part of our prestige and ego that we should win over the other person.
Even in spiritual organizations, we can see people fighting against each other. But the leaders usually forgive them because they know that all are working for the same cause. The difference in opinion is because of their difference in nature. Punishing any of them would mean, punishing the organization. When a person is able to think like that, he becomes a leader with a broader vision. He can forgive anybody who might behave in a disrespectful way or do something wrong to him because he’s not concerned with his prestige but with the well-being of the organization, for achieving the objective.
What happens when we do not forgive? Forgiveness does not happen most of the times because our ego is hurt. When the ego is hurt, all it wants to do is to take revenge. As a result, every moment is spent by the mind in thinking of how to take revenge and quench the thirst of the ego. When this happens, all our energies are spent in a negative direction. We also lose a lot of energy and body metabolism is also affected in a bad way resulting in hypertension, stress, anger, etc. Finally, if we are able to avenge our hurt, we end up in hurting someone else. In the process, we might have satisfied our ego, but the loss would be much more. We start building more enemies with whom we are always at war. It becomes difficult to work with them anymore. In many cases, people leave noble causes because of internal clashes. How sad! Just because someone is unable to forgive, a great cause is being affected.
What happens when we forgive? The matter ends there. As simple as that. No hurt feelings, no revenge, no negative body metabolism, no stress, no hurting someone, etc. Everything gets back to normal pretty faster and life is absolutely fine once again.
It’s easy to speak about forgiveness. But how to cultivate it; is the question. We will discuss on that later.